1:12 p.m. - 2013-08-22
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Sometimes we would come togetther and the feeling was so intense that it would bring me to tears... My heart would explode with emotion and looking into his eyes was unbearable and he would just hold me and ask me if I was okay /:
It was beautiful when he would hold me, sometimes we would cry together realizing that we never thought love would feel so intense and unexplainable and we lived only in each others eyes for that moment and we knew that the outside world cruel and hostile and would try to break us and destroy our love. I knew that the world would put barriers and that what we had was not easy to find anywhere. /: sigh I miss his love, I feel like love, passion has left me. He is my love and I feel sick, my heart is numb and sex is void. Sex is sex it is not love, it is just animalisltic motions without the feeling of security and tenderness and love and I miss him, sigh I need him. My heart aches becuz I have lost love, libido, desire and idk what I am right now, do I become a eunich? Is that what I am for the time being? When sex is not gratifyin and only makes may heart ache more becuz it will not fill his void, it will not fill me. Sigh ... It does not fill me, it is only like a stupid wet dream like a stupid sneeze that u try to hold in and when out does not satisfy but feels more like and inconvenience.
I want to be in his arms again /: I want my heart back ugh, )': I want my heart bak. /: God I miss my man... Please God bring my man bak, I am sooo sorry I took ur blessings for granted, I am sooo sorry, please bring my heart bak. As long as there is life there is hope, please bring him bak and give me strenght and patience please god, give me patience and strenght to wait for my love, my heart, my love. ... )': there must be more to life, but I believe our souls must journey thru life together, I really believe this, please god if otherwise give me the strenght but I beg u keep his soul safe don't throw him away keep him safe. Keep my love safe. Te amo. Please keep us safe, keep him safe and maybe god, ur will will keep me strong, give me strenght , lo amo. Te amo. Amen in the name of Jesus Christ amen.
