1:01 a.m. - 2019-09-22
M is cruel ...
M said we are just friends and he just lets me come over and takes care of my needs ... but not out of pity 🤨 nothing like that
But we nothing more then friends
Sigh 😔
Ugh ! The amount of times he said but “not out of pity” made me think even more that he’s just fudging me out of pity.
I don’t like him anymore .
He came at me with so much bullshit talking about he’s lost himself and that’s why he’s not interested in living with me right now because he wants to find himself.
I told him with tears in my eyes that I really thought I meant more to him And he said to just live in the moment and enjoy the present and have no expectations in life to gain more ... something like that .
Basically I’ve been madly in love this whole time thinking he will return my engagement ring again and we will get married and he’s telling me we’re just friends who fuck and he needs to “find himself”... wtf!
Sigh 😔
I have disdain for him, I feel a little bit used .
Idk what to think 🤔
Because I want to be mature and I realize that I shouldn’t ask for more then he can give me but I feel deceived by him .
Because last year we were Engaged and talking about moving in and now he’s done a complete 180 turn on me.
He must think I’m a pitiful fool who he can just walk all over without ever commiting and leaving his comfort zone.
Love takes risks ! And yes sometimes it’s scary but if the love is great enough then it’s worth in the long run ... I wish he saw that I’m worth it 😢😔😞
But no .
He does not want me like I want him so I have to walk away for my mental well being 😕
Dang it
