3:20 a.m. - 2016-02-24
too bad but he is right and i love him because im free.
Today was one of those days.
I met him, he fingered me so we fucked.
I had told myself we wouldn't but the foreplay was pretty good and also It had been a while for me in itself so that made it harder for me to resist.
The sex was great , the weed, the beer. All good and fun.
Then he told me he can't date me that we can only be what we are right now. .
Because he's going to Germany in a couple of years. ...
I hope he really goes....I hope he finds satisfactory pussy out there and beyond.
I hope they make him feel good and he forgets me because in the end I'm still embarrassed of him.
Because in the end he's one more of my trophies.
Because In the end we really don't have much in common and he isa cold hearted mmothafucker. And I don't understand why.
I hope they suck his Dick well and that he forgets my eyes and my smile because I dont want to be just one more of his adventures even though he is exactly that for me .
He is a conquest, an amusing love that I always wondered about and now know it will never be.
He is still arrogant as Fuck, but he is gentle and I appreciate that with the deepest of my being.
He fills me even though it hurts.
He makes me believe in pleasure again and the potential for bliss again one day.
I guess it makes me sad because no matter how good the suspense and foreplay...I still cannot achieve bliss and that success because I trust him and he is so gentle and I like his smell Nd still I fucken feel nothing but fuckenet down because bliss is still not there.
Not there.
Only out of my reach but still not there. ...like Fuck
Fuck.
