5:57 p.m. - 2016-01-13
ugh! the dynamics of the buddy system between the sexes.
It seems ...
I won't be having sex for a while /:
Hahahha
Yes I'm bummed out bout it.
But,
What other option do I have??
To call Nate ?
To act as if the sex is worth the agony of being
With someone who u are bored with already?
Someone who little by little u despise and can't stand?
I've known this guy for fucken 10 years already and well he was my gateway to an easy fuck to realease tensions and when I grew
Feelings for him he pulled back.
He made a trench between us and basically it was a stand still
Where I wouldn't hear from him for days sometimes weeks.
Soo
Naturally the affection I had for him turned into disdain.
Disdain for this person who can show so much passion and
Love for me one moment and the next act as if I don't exist,
As if I don't fucken matter.
If,
Maybe if at least he would of had the fucken courtesy to
Respond to act as if I mattered, even as a fucken easy lay, upfront,
But to at least respond and let me know what's up.
Ugh ....!! Sigh.
Like shit . ..
But no instead he has his head up his ads, clueless as fuck
As to what constitutes the most basic of courtesies to another
Human being, to me who he called "his buddy".
What the fuck is a buddy!! Lmao.
Wtf indeed.
Anyways I just can't . I just can't stand him fucking me and kissing me as if he cares ...when I know he doesn't.
It's like yeah the sex was good but I don't wanna see it stupid smug face .
So fuck it! I'll just be "celibate" for a while.
Fuck it.
Maybe I'll go back to church and settle down find
Someone who cares. ...idk. /=
I just can't stand the bullshit.
If u had been upfront.
But to be honest ur just soo fucken clueless, I seriously
Don't appreciate not even the friendship I offered so then
Why? Why even pursue me?
But I suppose that's the difference between females and
Males, that even tho I don't want my company or my thoughts,
Still ur okay with the Fuck .
Sorry sweetheart, I can't.
I can't Fuck someone I don't care about anymore.
Sorry sweetheart, I can't .
I just can't.
