4:16 a.m. - 2013-08-21
was it ALL an illusion? )':
Dear love, I hope that u are okay and that u KNOW that I love u and will wait for u. I ope u have peace in ur heart, and that u love me as much as I love u. Paty made a good point the other day, would u do as much for me as I have done for u? And sadly I'm not sure that u would . If I were the one messing up goin with friends and making absurd mistakes. If I were the one that brought a man friend to the house, if u knew, would u still do everything to maintain our relationship? ... I don't think u would.
Sometimes idk why or how it is that u say u love me and then turn around and hurt me.
This is the part where I decide to let u go but then I remember how attentive and caring u are sometimes, ): is it becuz u feel guilty?? Is that how u function? Is that ur way of appeasing ur conscience after all ur lies? I want to believe that u love me, that WE love each other but maybe the fairytale is over ):
The law by which I was raised, mandates I make it work somehow, that things can be fixed. My own vanity tells me I must make it work, but are u really worth it ): ugh!
Javeeeehh!!! Do u remember how beautiful it was at first?? ),,:
