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2:26 a.m. - 2013-05-28
the ways of my ancestors, the ways of my fathers.
When I was younger my mum called me "la madrastra", the stepmom. I was in charge of the kids and I was mean. I had this thing were if they ever did anything to me I would hold it inside until I found a chance to get back at them. I would always tell them "I never forget".
Needless to say, they hated me, and I hated myself too but I knew no other way.
... Sad to say but this person still lies inside of me, deep inside of me and now that I feel hurt and vulnerable it is lashing out unnecessarily at ppl that don't deserve it. ): I'm starting to hate me again. I hurt G. Today because I felt I had to get back at him to be on the same field and , well I accomplished it. His face woke me up to the monster I can be. Javeh is trying but in the same way I feel like we are not even so I keep hurting him so as to be okay with that leveling system inside of me, even tho its hurting the heck out of me as well and in the end I will be broken too. Please God almighty, may that light inside of me show me the way, may I listen before its too late. /:

 

 

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