2:00 a.m. - 2013-05-10
deception.
Why do I struggle, why do I stutter? I know he's not my type, I know it means nothing and yet I struggle. Am I that desperate? Am I that scared, and I that stupid and empty inside? No, I don't need a man, because I already have one, and I chose him with great pleasure and mind. He makes me smile and he holds me with so much love and attention, but I miss him. /: why do I stutter? He's not my type. Do I feel guilty? Do I seek approval? Yes, I feel like I owe him something, like I should show him gratitude and reward him for his time and attention... That is wrong. Like I should give him hope to keep him close, that is wrong. I have to be fair and honest and not a dishonest bad friend. A bad friend, no, a better person and acquaintance. A better friend and woman, a better human being.
