3:00 p.m. - 2011-06-20
Saaad.
I just got in a fight with my sister over lotion...lol, ridiculous right?
Well, she wanted lotion so badly, and it made me very mad that she makes it seem like it's my sole duty to provide her with lotion, so that she may be as comfortable as possible, and it makes me mad. Yes, it makes me mad that i work to maintain the house, and she's here just watching tv, the house is dirty, and she's always just there all comfortable.
I am sad right now :[
It kills me to think of Javi with his ex and the fact that he even has an ex-wife, like why the hell do I have to deal with this. I have no necessity for this... but I love him, and he has all this past, all this baggage that I must accept him with. I have my own baggage, but I just never thought that I would end up falling in Love with someone like him... I don't know... :[
He thinks housewives are lame :[ ... what the hell am I suppose to say to that. I've always had this sort of concept, or dream, call it what you want, of being someone's housewife and taking care of my family...
and then he says it's nice to have someone waiting for him... :[ i suppose he's talking about how he felt to have his ex-wife wait for him all "fresh"... it makes my skin crawl, a lil sick in the stomach. But that is his reality, this is my reality now... I am going out with a gentile who has a "pothead" ex-wife... who he regrets loosing very much, with a daughter he misses, and who might be disgusted by me in the future ... :'[ in the future... he is very picky... and I am saaad!
I need to find myself before I decide If I am really willing to leave everything and start anew with him...as in a home... (sigh)... God I need to find myself :'[.
