9:12 p.m. - 2011-05-04
About my sick need to be needed. ..
Sooo... :(
I think that I am committing the same mistake as I did with stupid Elizabeth... You know the whole needyness and the whole flattery, and everything being physical and the lack of respect that comes from that relationship. I Put up with her because I felt like she needed me... and well, sometimes... ugh, his needyness, it bothers me, he calls it love, but im not sure if that is what it is... well, maybe its just that I dont really love him. I feel sad, because I can't live him cuz he says he "needs" me soo much, and that he's sooo sad without me. The truth is that I missed him too, but it broke my heart even more to hear that he was sooo sad, and it's like a little guilt trip. Ugh,,...I just hope to get thru this without auto destructing in the end... Without feeling like a little whore bitch. I know I am wrong and it hurts because this is all my fault., but now I don't know how to get away. ... I dont know how?
